Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Day 23 - Coming Clean

I haven't done a thing hardly the last couple of days, I let things slide, I checked out as my Hubby checked in to a flight, to another country (sort of), and a hotel. I chose this, to overeat, to checkout, to lay awake, to let my emotions rule me, to wander around zombie-like but...

I did chose to air the house, to open the blinds/curtains, to tidy up, to empty the dishwasher and reload it. I chose to shower as soon as I got Bundle down for a nap, to clean me, ready for Hubby's homecoming. I chose many other things to dismiss over the last few days and a few others to keep-up and I have no real regrets in truth. I made these decisions in full awareness of my state of loss (boy I missed him) and I made them so I would not be overwhelmed by my emotional state but rather lean into it and focus on the important over the less so.

I focused on prayer and study. I focused on personal contact. I didn't cancel my catch-up with a friend. I didn't cancel my tutoring sessions. I withstood in a lot of ways, crumbled in others.

He is home and my equilibrium is reset. My house is our home and no it is not cleaner but it is happier.

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